Paulette Bodeman
The Breakaway Girl: Secrets of a Tantric Yogi
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Introducing Paulette Bodeman
Paulette was a shy, introverted child who read a lot. For her, writers were superheroes with remarkable powers to ignite the imagination. As a child she wrote to escape and didn’t think of it as creative because her father and brother sang beautifully, and another brother created imaginative drawings. It wasn’t until she became a student and teacher of yoga that her view of creativity expanded.
Now, she says, “I see life itself as creative expression. Everything is part of the creation cycle: our everyday lives, from cooking, gardening, working, and raising children. How we DO life IS art. All life (humanity included) is a manifestation of the primal creative force. We are natural extensions of creativity. We can’t help but BE creative.”
I met Paulette through Substack. Turns out there are many writers-who-pratice-yoga and many yogis-who-write on that platform. She writes Sage Sanctuary (Because Life is Messy) and teaches and coaches on Zoom. She sees her work as a collaboration with words and clients. She says, “As a writer, my job is to be simple and honest, vulnerable and real without being self-indulgent.” Once, years ago, while working on a yoga-related writing project, a teacher told her she was hiding behind her words. “Your writing isn’t evocative.” He said, “Tell the truth.”
Of that feedback, Paulette reflects: “It took a bit of self-inquiry and it isn’t always easy, but it is important. Readers are sophisticated and sniff out B.S. in a second. They want to be entertained, informed, and inspired. They want honest, vulnerable writing. That’s what I try to do.”
Paulette has been teaching yoga for over 30 years. She first learned about yoga when she was working as a barber in her mid-twenties. A client was concerned about her health and gave her a flyer for a nearby yoga and meditation class. “Those first classes felt like I stepped into another country,” she says. “I didn’t know the language or the customs. It was uncomfortable, but I was drawn. I knew that if I committed to the practice, it would change my life.”
When Paulette began writing what became her first book, The BreakAway Girl: Secrets of a Tantric Yogi, she wasn’t sure what made her write. Pieces and parts of herself called out to her. She shoved them back into the cave of her mind only for whole paragraphs to rise up at the oddest moments: while making love, preparing meals, praying, while flossing her teeth.
Paulette writes: “I hid my thoughts and feelings and words in the closet. Images poked out, leering, Remember me? An intangible something, or someone continued to poke a finger at my shoulder. Prodding, Come on. Get going. I kept turning my back on this vague specter, the part of my essence that longs for expression. It had been left alone and abandoned, riddled with anxiety and a deep, un-nameable sadness. Writing became one way to sift through the messiness of my life and find a few golden nuggets.”
Excerpt from: The BreakAway Girl by Paulette Bodeman
It’s 1:30 am. The full Hunter’s Moon trickles through the slats in the bedroom blinds. I slip out of bed. Open the arcadia door. Barefoot, I step outside. My skin erupts with goose bumps in the chill of the night. Our resident great horned owl hoots and chitters from atop the chimney.
I gaze up into the expanse of night sky. A festival of scattered diamonds. Indra’s web a sparkling reflection. I am stardust.
Slowly, I roll down the waistline of my pajama bottoms, revealing a four-inch incision just above my pubic bone. It glows reddish purple in the moonlight. Closing my eyes, I glide my free hand gently, and then more firmly, across the livid, ropey scar that defines me.
I open my eye to find my husband kneeling in front of me. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulls me close. Moves my hands away from my body. His moist lips trail along the pulsing slash of sorrow that belongs to both of us.
Dropping to my knees, I kiss away the tears that glisten on his unshaven cheeks. The dam breaks – flooding us with the force of our unrestrained anguish.
Soft now. Silvery we float. Feet barely touching the earth beneath, we make our way back to bed. Wrapped in stillness. No words spoken. Only the benediction of our breath. Our joining a consecration.
Haiku by Paulette Bodeman
Seeds of love we plant It is the highest teaching From the muck we bloom
Hope is What’s Possible (an Excerpt from Paulette’s Blog)
No question about it, we live in uncertain times.
When the ground feels shaky it can cause anxiety, sadness, and confusion. Living in the paradox is the way of the Tantric yogi. We’re called to remain steadfast in our essential nature of goodness and love, to stand tall in the light of truth.
Somedays hopefulness feels easy, like a lazy Sunday morning. You ride the current of hope relaxed. In a hot minute, you’re climbing Mt. Everest where each foothold is less stable - each breath shallower and hope feels far beyond your reach.
The thing to remember - hope is built into our DNA.
It’s written in our human contract.
Hope, the invisible hand that reaches out and pulls you up to stand on holy ground. Where once again you are allowed to reset and regain your equilibrium.
The river of hope ebbs and flows across a spectrum depending on what you’re personally dealing with and what you and I are navigating collectively.
When you’re living life, and it’s flowing along pretty dang good, your body feels light, the mind spacious, optimistic, with your heart a radiant beam of love.
However, when you’re smacked upside the head, falling into a pit where life majorly sucks, a specific situation gruesome and challenging, hope is nothing more than a cloud of smoke.
But hope, practiced and cultivated, ripples like a stone skipping across smooth water.
Let’s help one another stand on sacred ground by learning the rigor of hope.
Be kind to yourself. Take baby steps as you learn to strengthen your hope muscle.
Begin with your life. Consider something you desire; a small goal. Then plan a daily action step to move towards it. Acknowledge the little successes that shine the light of hope on your aspiration.
Practice yoga, not only movement on the mat. Be flexible in mind and heart. Ask your Sage self, what am I not seeing, hearing, sensing, or doing that might shift my perspective? Expand my vision?
Meditate. Journal. Pray. Laugh. Dance. Commune with nature.
Remember the adage, “This too shall pass”. There’s truth to this trope. Nothing is permanent. Not you, nor I, or the struggle.
Call in Saraswati, the Goddess of Divine flow. She will lead you away from troubled waters to the shores of possibility. All you need do is surrender the death grip of fear and invite her to guide you.
Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, coach, or spiritual advisor. They will remind you that you’re not alone. That you’ve been here before and that you made it through the darkness back into the light of dawn.
Surround yourself with others who strive for the highest good of all.
Remember, hope is what’s possible.
Interview with Paulette Bodeman
What does yoga mean to you?
Yoga is so much more than poses on a yoga mat. I’m no model of enlightenment. But yoga philosophy has provided a much-needed road map for life. Yoga helped broaden my world view and continues to help me navigate the ebb and flow, the challenges of being human. It provides me with stability while living in the chaos of these times.
What does your current personal yoga practice look like?
My main practice these days is seated meditation. My morning ritual is to turn the coffee on, slowly drink a mug of warm water with lemon, go to my special chair, and meditate. When the weather permits, I meditate outdoors and then walk the labyrinth we built in our yard. Then I have coffee and get to my day.
How has your practice changed over the years?
It’s changed immensely. In the early years I attended a 3-hour class we called kick-ass yoga twice a week. I also attended at least one other weekly class. The practice was intense, challenging and empowering.
My home practice is still strong and consistent, but my intention is to sustain health, strength and mobility as I age. It’s more about listening deeply to what my body and mind need and less about “getting” a pose.
How has your teaching changed over the years?
Since the pandemic I no longer teach in a studio. I’m focused more on writing and life coaching. I’ve continued to co-lead an annual retreat with a good friend. Our focus is much like my personal practice. We look at how and what we teach to help people inhabit their body, help heal their bodies, and be in touch with their overall well-being. As a life-coach I bring other elements in to support personal and spiritual growth and transformation. I encourage my clients to have a movement practice, which of course for me is yoga.
How has being a writer influenced the way you see the world?
It’s expanded my world view in ways that I never imagined. I hope it’s made me more compassionate. I know I’m more curious. I’m able to pause more and appreciate the beauty that’s right in front of me. Nature is the greatest work of art.
What do you do when you are stuck?
I move. Writers are in our heads a lot. We live with our characters, our stories, our words. When I’m stuck with writing or feel stuck in my life, I walk or get on my mat and practice. And sometimes, funny enough, I weed. There is always a garden bed that needs tending. The simple repetitive action of weeding clears my headspace (and the garden).
What advice do you have for aspiring writers/creatives?
I like Anne LaMott’s “Butt in chair” and Nike’s “Just do it.” But I’d add trust your instincts, continue to learn, listen, pay attention, grow, and believe in yourself.
How can people connect with you about your work?
I offer coaching 1:1, and I’ve created a community called, The Haven, within my Substack publication. We meet bi-seasonally on zoom where I share teachings, meditations, journal prompts. Our focus is self-transformation and being a student of life.
As always, thank you for reading and supporting this labor of love! It is a gift to receive your reactions and comments. I read and respond to every one of them.
Are you local to Western Massachusetts?
Connect with the Yoga Outside Community!
Are you a creative person?
Writer, poet, artist, videographer, musician, photographer, sculptor, painter?
I’d love to feature you and your work in a future issue of Starry Starry Kite.
It always lights me up to see kindred souls connecting yoga and writing! Thanks for sharing this. Like Paulette, I also use movement when I get stuck in my writing. It's such a synergistic combination and it's so hard to imagine myself doing one without the other:)
So much practical wisdom from Paulette. Thank you, Linda, for featuring her and her beautiful yoga and writing.